From Bored to Brilliant: Boosting Imagination
What do you do when you hear your child say (or wail, or whine, or shriek), “I’m bored! There’s nothing to do.” Do you cringe, clench your teeth, and brace yourself? Or maybe you start dancing like a circus monkey to entertain and entice them into some new activity? Perhaps a screen is offered to quiet them?
We all want to avoid this uncomfortable yet normal human emotion. Boredom generates feelings of irritability, fatigue and lethargy. No wonder kids come to us looking for escape and solutions. In our adult-led, screen-based culture of childhood, tolerating boredom is not a skill most children practice regularly.
However, boredom can also pave the way to riches of creativity, self-empowerment, and even joy. I think of it as a desert of discomfort that, once traversed, leads you to an oasis of discovery. If we don’t allow kids the time and space to cross over the boredom territory, they might well become adults who always need someone or something else to entertain or motivate them.
With a few new thoughts, a smattering of new actions, and a focus on the environment, parents can encourage kids to solve this problem themselves.
What to Think
When your child comes to you whining and protesting, refuse to feel sorry for them and instead try on one of these thoughts:
“My kid is resourceful and capable.”
“Struggling is normal.”
“Boredom is not urgent.”
By not rescuing your child from boredom, you are helping them explore their own preferences and interests. These are building blocks of self-esteem, giving them a chance to impress themselves by solving their own problems.
What to Do & Say
Marjie Longshore, Executive Director of the Family Leadership Center, says she always greeted her kids' wails of boredom with a bright (and heartfelt), “Oh, I can’t wait to see what you come up with!” And then she went about her business.
Patti Cancellier, Certified Parent Educator with The Parent Encouragement Program,reminds us to avoid lectures about how things were for us back in the day and how lucky they are to have so many more options.
Try the bathroom technique and suddenly be indisposed. Sometimes that little space in time can activate a child to go find something to do.
You could also offer, if appropriate, that they join you in what you are doing. Most of us do a terrible job making the adult world seem enticing and fun, but really it can be. Invite your four-year-old to remove the tops off strawberries. A 7-year-old might enjoy getting their hands dirty in the garden or love the challenge of pushing a heavy wheelbarrow.
Environment
Sarah Hill is a schoolteacher with over 30 years of experience, and her daughter, Hannah, is six years into her teaching career. They emphatically agree that kids are perfectly capable at school, but the minute they see their parents they become demanders of special services.
Armed with that knowledge, instead of using our life energy entertaining them, Sarah and Hannah suggest we focus on creating a richly creative environment.
Clear off a shelf or two for them to populate with Boredom Busters—a craft bin, toy closet, or art supplies. Let them use scotch tape, donate that nice pair of scissors to the cause, give them fresh paper (not too much).
Be ok with a mess. We spend our adult lives doing things swiftly, neatly and efficiently. Boredom gets busted slowly, messily and circuitously. Think of it as an investment in your child’s brain development.
Empty tables situated near natural light can work miracles for play. When screens were ruining the family life of some of my clients, I helped them declutter their basement toy closet and transform it into a high-end “boutique” displaying all those expense, but undone Lego sets. We put a big card table near some natural light and left it empty. Unprompted, their son and a friend went “shopping” in the basement looking for something to do. They spent a happy two hours building a Lego rocket ship. It didn’t end there, without a suggestion or nudge from the parents, both their kids now spend free time happily constructing Legos.
Industriousness, creativity, and imagination are like muscles that need to be used and strengthened. Instead of boredom being an uninvited and unlikable visitor, think of it as a little beacon showing you that your child needs more time and space to practice thinking, experimenting, and exploring the world around them.